Do One Hard Thing a Day: The Science Behind Why It Works
TL;DR Turned down a spot on stage at the Minnesota State Fair. Spent the rest of the day regretting it. That regret turned into a daily habit — one scary thing, every day — and the research says it's worth doing.
There were groups of people in the crowd throwing their arms in the air, following the music imperfectly, yet perfectly at the same time.
It was the Minnesota State Fair. My coworkers and I were volunteering at an event that was promoting wellness and movement. The activity of the hour was Zumba, and two of my coworkers were on stage behind the instructor following her movements.
Twenty minutes prior, one of the event coordinators asked if I wanted to be up on stage behind the instructor during Zumba. My body tensed up, and my stomach clenched. My immediate answer was "no".
I wish I had said yes.
Imagine busting a move with all your limbs - crossing your arms, shaking your hips, and maybe even a shimmy - in front of a crowd of young and old. Behind them are food stands that draw crowds from across the country: Dill pickle pizza, pumpkin bar funnel cake, apple fries, and the classic corn on the cob. I will never get the opportunity to enjoy that view shaking my bum because I was scared of being uncomfortable for 45 minutes.
How silly.
Lately (except for State Fair Day apparently), I've been taking my own advice and challenging myself to do one thing that scares me every day. My "30 days of hard things" has been keeping track of what those look like.
The majority of my "big moments of bravery" tend to involve other people and/or feelings of not wanting to be uncomfortable, especially when I want to stay in my shell.
What is it about interacting with other people that's so scary? What would it look like if we didn't give fleeting opportunities a second thought and jumped in? Life would be a lot more interesting. I'm all about having a good story to tell. It turns out there's actual research behind why one small scary thing a day works — not just my need for a good story.
The Benefits of Doing Hard Things Daily
No anti-anxiety meds needed
If you're looking for any validation (like me, always), systematic desensitization (AKA exposure therapy) is used by therapists to treat anxiety by facing the feared thing in small, repeatable doses until it stops feeling threatening. It was the OG version of "do one scary thing a day" and discovered in 1958.
If my habit keeps up, I may consider going off of my anti-anxiety meds and see how it goes (FAFO). I'll keep you updated.
It gives you confidence!
Hi, confidence, where have you been?
As much as I love a perfectly toned lipstick that gives that extra umph to take on the day, no lipstick is needed to build confidence within yourself. The classic study by Bandura proved this with the concept of self-efficacy.
Basically, every time you do a hard thing, you'll believe that you'll do the next hard thing just a little bit more than before. Shout out to my fave Peloton instructor (and future real-life bestie), Jess Sims, who reminds us that the hard things we do in the gym are harder than the things we do in life.
Fewer regrets from the things you have done
There's a study that was re-tested and re-verified where they found that the regrets people have from the things they don't do last longer than the regrets people get when they say yes and live life.
Back to Jess, I've met her in real life. Yep, I have nothing else to live for.
Kidding, but it was one of the moments in my life where I played it a million times in my head before it even happened and it turned out nothing like any of those scenarios. I didn't get to show her a picture of my dog, I cried, nor did I get to say everything I wanted. It was a mix of embarrassment and joy.
I have learned to not regret that moment. I know I would regret it a million times more if I had not said hi to her imperfectly and as myself. I look forward to the day where I can redeem myself (*hint hint universe*).
Let's Do Hard Things Together
Think about the moments that are hard. Hard is a choice. It's also a choice to look past the hard things, go easy on yourself, and do it anyway.
It's pretty magical to see what things you do in 30 days when you look for hard things to overcome. Start now. Do it for seven days if that seems less daunting, or just for today.
Comment below on the hard thing you've recently done.
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