I Stopped Giving My Energy Away—And Everything Changed

How therapy taught me that my self-worth requires me to take back my power with boundaries.

I was arming to disrupt Corporate America politics and call it like it was.

The toxic culture, the finger pointing, the lack of accountability, the blurred lines that are supposedly straight. I was ready to take it all down and pierce through the invisible wall of egos with a more than a few choice words.

(A dream of mine, actually.)

What No One Tells You About Giving Your Energy Away

No one tells you how to survive for yourself. Those of us who grew up learning to look at others to know what to do next or how to feel in that moment, got the unfair advantage.

My entire career was built around other people. I thought in order for me to move up and grow, I needed to do whatever it took to make everyone else happy.

In every situation that didn't feel healthy, right, or fair, my options were limited.

1. Stew in my feelings that would snowball into more quiet, hurt feelings that come back to me again and again and again. Then, swallow those feelings and tell myself I was in the wrong for thinking and feeling whatever way I was.

2. See option 1.

Three Years of Therapy Taught Me to Build a Life for Myself

I've been in therapy for almost three years. It's only over the last year that I've started to make progress on what it means to make a life for myself, by myself, loving myself. Some (most) days feel emptier and less successful than others. Other days are overflowing. The overflowing days are slowly increasing in number as time goes on I've noticed.

I've been ignoring my calling to start my own business, to put my thoughts, art, and vulnerabilities out into the world. I'm taking the plunge now and trusting the universe (Hi, it's me). It's only after you realize that your time and energy will grow into something or someone you deeply care about, that the rest falls away and doesn't matter.

For the first time, I realized I have something to lose if I gave my energy or situations to people who didn't deserve it. And I would never get it back. For the first time, I stopped caring. I went against my intrinsic empathetic nature and kept my grievances to myself.

Then, a b r e e z e.

The weight of one hundred worlds fell off my shoulders.

The Moment I Realized My Energy Has a Price Tag

I realized that the things I want to do in life - moving across the country, building a business, spending time in the gym, enjoying books, appreciating art, exploring new walking paths with my dog - require that same energy I was willingly giving away to something that wouldn't give anything back in return.

What we each give the world means something. It means more when we give it to ourselves.

Why do we let ourselves give so much?

It's not an automatic shift (I wish). Not every day is happy. I have days where I'm exhausted (hi, ADHD). I've had my fair share of recent all-consuming, soul-sucking days where I mistakenly let myself give my energy away.

And that's okay.

Codependency, ADHD & Anxiety: The Journey to Happiness

For those of us who are codependent, depressed, anxious, neurodivergent, or just plain human, tending to our happiness is a process. One day it's easy. The next day it's impossible.

But we find happy moments. Then we find more.

Your Energy Matters.

What we give the world means something. It means more when we give it to ourselves— and that's not selfish.If you're an entrepreneur protecting your focus, a mental health advocate in recovery, or a young woman learning to say no—your energy is worth protecting.